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Calcium Carbonate. [Dec. 23rd, 2009|03:42 am]
[Current Mood | blah]

Chalky, cloudy, opaque.

Maybe i just need a good rest. And i pray that everything will be alright after i wake up. But sometimes, rest doesnt make everything better. Sometimes exhaustion will make one feel better cos all sense is lost.

Aches cloud my thoughts. Clouds warm my heart.

Boxing day is here once again.. Wonder how this year's will be different from all the previous years.

Nahh, shouldnt be much difference. Love my dear JACE in advance for planning the dinner. <3 Don't know what i'll do without you girls.

Maybe working half a day on saturday would be good? If possible that is.

Shall not, will not, cannot. Now it's just left with the moon. Numbed, or should i say, too numb?
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Always Inferior. [Dec. 20th, 2009|04:57 am]
[Current Mood | drunk]

It's a roller coaster ride.. And sadly, i'm always just the second class citizen.
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Standing On My Own 2 Feet. [Dec. 16th, 2009|01:27 am]
[Current Mood | uncomfortable]

Really? What do they actually mean? And what do you actually mean? I cannot understand.
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When The Skies Are Grey. [Dec. 14th, 2009|04:41 pm]
[Current Mood | bitchy]

Uber exhausted.

And i uber hate the state of my fringe now. :(

Praying for the best. Though i really dont expect much.
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Exhaustion To The Max. [Dec. 13th, 2009|02:35 am]
[Current Mood |Shaggiest]

Attended YPF camp for 3 days in the week. Was really apprehensive at first. But looking back, i would say that i really spent an uber blessed and fulfilling time there. I learnt a lot, grew closer to God and also to fellow saints. I really thank God that He has blessed me with many blessings.. :) Moreover, i felt at home at the camp cos everyone was just so warm and real.

Worked at the Festive rs @ Suntec Concourse Level 3 today.. So excited to see everyone! Both new and old. Hehe. :) It just felt super good working with all of them again.. And i also thank God that the customers today were generally nice people.. We had fun interacting with fellow colleagues.. We laughed, we pek chek-ed, we complained, we chatted together. Me <3. Lol.

Moreover, i also did a few silly things la.. (What's new huh? Hahaha..) I nearly banged into a pole outisde suntec when i was walking while sms-ing, and there was another instance when i was getting down from my chair and my shoelace got stuck in one of the corners of the counter.. I got stuck there for a while, with my foot dangling a little off the ground. Sheesh. -.- HAHAHA!

Arghhh. I'm feeling so so so cui now! Overly exhausted already. Shucks.

A really hectic week ahead for me.. When all i wanna do is rest well.. Like really really well. Where's the time to even do so?! =X

I thank God for you.
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Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head. [Dec. 9th, 2009|02:29 pm]
[Current Mood | mellow]


It has been ages since i was last soaked in the rain.. So much so that i almost forgot how it felt like.

Being drenched just brings back fond memories of my RV and NJ days.. Where we purposely stood in the rain during sports meets so that we would be soaked to the skin. We didnt care whether we would fall sick, we just did it. Laughing, giggling, enjoying ourselves in the rain.

I miss those days.

There are so many things running through my mind now.

Just happened to click on my old bloglinks.. Randomly clicked on a few names and realised that most blogs are not valid anymore. I wonder how many people still do blog.. Or has life already taken a toll on them? As we grow older, we also learn how to hide our feelings. We put on a facade and avoid showing our weaknesses to others so as to prevent ourselves from being hurt. How saddening. Such is life.

Is it just so difficult and scary to express how we feel? We are all afraid, afraid to be vulnerable. Sometimes a little assurance would really mean the world to us.

One day i want to be dancing in the rain with you, without a care in the world.
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At A Loss. [Dec. 9th, 2009|02:19 am]
[Current Mood | blank]

I'm lost, waiting for guidance back to the correct path.

Sometimes i just dont understand.. Maybe i'm just too dense and naive for my own good. Sighs. :(

I'm afraid..
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Food For Thought. [Dec. 9th, 2009|01:03 am]
Sometimes i just cant help but wonder if i'm special or am i just part of the special ones.
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Hero. [Dec. 8th, 2009|06:56 pm]
[Current Mood | calm]



Just can't help but love this rendition of the song lots. <3
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Polaroid-ed. [Nov. 27th, 2009|01:15 am]
[Current Mood | blank]

Such things are too complicated for me. Oh wells.
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Whirlwind. [Nov. 26th, 2009|03:03 am]
[Current Mood | depressed]

2 papers down, 1 more to go. So why do i feel as if the exams have already ended? Oh wells. High time to continue mugging but i'm so uber tired that i just spent the whole of today nuaing. Sleeping a mere 5.5 hours for 2.5 days ain't a joke. :(

I just wanna graduate with a 2nd lower honours. The rest i don't care already. I'm just too exhausted with everything.

Why do humans even have emotions? It's these emotions that cause us agony, isn't it so? Okay, they let us feel happy and blissful too. But what if everything ends up in a sad state? Then what's the whole point?

Okay, i know i am incoherent.. But my thoughts are as such at the current stage. I don't know why i even bother.

Life's just such a big irony of its own. Sometimes that is all one needs.

Tomorrow will be a better day, won't it? Well, i do hope so.

I'm looking forward to friday, cos it'll be too busy to even think.
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Too Fast Too Furious. [Nov. 16th, 2009|06:52 pm]
[Current Mood | exhausted]

Too many things on my mind. I cant concentrate on studying. I need to concentrate on studying for exams right now! Sighs. :(
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The Last Of The Last. [Nov. 13th, 2009|09:07 pm]
[Current Mood | blah]

Okay, i'm supposed to be studying. But i'm here doing EVERYTHING ELSE but studying. Argh. So typical of me rite? =X

Exams start in 11 days, and i've practically not studied. SHIT. :(
People please motivate me! I need to finish well!
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The Sweetest Forbidden Fruit. [Nov. 1st, 2009|02:28 am]
[Current Mood | blank]

 
Life's too complicated.
I cannot decipher my feelings anymore.
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The Little Joys In Life. [Oct. 28th, 2009|10:57 pm]
[Current Mood | hopeful]

I thank God for the numerous blessings. :)

I'm happy i found true life and fcm. Purely by His will cos there's no other way possible. Somehow everything was just miraculously pieced together.

Never felt so in place and at peace.
I'm scared yes, but still holding on. Somehow.

And one thing i have realised, it's just such a miraculous thing that most Christians can hold a tune decently well. Lol.
 
Anyway, i was back at my alma mater earlier today. Wasn't for a good cause (don't ask why) but yeah, felt quite good to be back at somewhere familiar i guess. The school practically hasn't changed a single bit so it still felt homely, especially when i spent more time than most people there. Not that i'm proud of that fact, but oh wells. A lot of mixed feelings, cos it was a place where i experienced so many different things and emotions.. And i kinda miss the area near the school crest though i didn't go there today. 



 
Yeah, nj still has the same amount of stairs.. But somehow i dont feel that it's such a chore using them anymore. Maybe cos i'm used to the distances and slopes in ntu and cuhk already. And i miss njco. When i heard them having 小组练习 at the TB classrooms this evening, there were just a lot of memories running through my mind. And the songs they were playing were just so so so familiar. Sighs. Miss such things so much.

On a side note, i really detest people who are uber condescending, cocky and unreasonable. Just gives me the shivers.

Hmm, i'm just praying for the best and may the Lord's will be done.
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Thoughts Of The Whirlwind. [Oct. 25th, 2009|02:53 am]
[Current Mood | indifferent]

I've so many things on my mind and so many things that i can't decide whether to do or not. 
Like, whether i should join that or not, why some things happen the way they do, and whether i should do some things of not.

Weiqi recently just asked me if i wanna join back chinese orchestra or not. Honestly i really want to (provided the practice days and timings are okay) but i havent touched my 胡 for almost 3 years already? I think my skills have already deteriorated like mad! But i really miss those days of practising together, performing together.. all the different emotions and feelings included within. Ahhhhh those blissful days. :) Hmm, moreover, joining a new co means i'll be a loner there! (at least at the beginning) Quite scary i would say.. Mixed feelings aplenty. It's like i'd really want to, but there are so many things deterring me. Ughhhhh. Why aren't i more adventurous and daring?

And also, whether i should join that something else or not.. Cos i keep thinking that my skills are not up to standard. Darn irritated by myself.

Work today was mostly quite okay.. Except for this total bimbo/bitch/airhead that spoiled my day. Seriously, she's so full of air that i felt like hiding myself in a hole so that i wouldnt have to serve her anymore. Even the others felt that she was super horrible la. Goodness. 

"I use my pen and my brain only. I'm not good with my finger." Hmm, i wonder where the brain is located at. Really.  Huh what, brain not detected?! Hahaha. -.-

On a side note, i guess tlc is a girl's downfall. Totally pathetic. Oh wells.

And i can't understand the 428 articles la.. How to do the review properly?! I've only completed 1.5 pages of INTRODUCTION only. Haven't even started the review proper la. I'm so screwed.
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Words For Thought. [Oct. 23rd, 2009|09:56 am]
[Current Mood | indifferent]

I realised i blog the most when i've no choice but to study. I guess it's my way of writing out how i feel so i'll feel better after that.

Previously, i'll decorate my blog so that it'll 'attract' readers, but now, i reckon my perspective kinda changed. It's like, this is my blog, i can write whatever i fancy. I don't need the world to approve of how i phrase my words, how i design the blog and how i align my paragraphs. It has also become more private, cos as one grows up, he/she would also want more privacy. Natural transition, isn't it?

Anyway, if someone is not worth investing your time and effort to even talk to, then really, don't bother at all. Life'll be much better after that. :) Easier done than said, but when successfully carried out, one'll also become more happy.

I can't believe i'm blogging about such stuff early in the morning. (i'm a night owl.) I still wanna go back to lala land.. hahaha..

On a side note, there are so many things i wanna do! Cycling, playing badminton, singing, travelling and many others.. Ahhhhh. I need the time and the kaching. Lol.

Hmm.. I think i'll really miss school a lot after graduation, excluding the academic part.
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Angst. [Oct. 19th, 2009|11:30 pm]
[Current Mood | moody]

It's freaking sian and irritating to force yourself to study/mug/swallow whatever is on your notes MULTIPLE times EVERY week. Every darn week. They forgot that life SHOULD BE a balance. Though yeah, as students, we are supposed to be studying, but we need our fair share of rest and relaxation too rite? Actually it's more of rest. I need more sleep. Weirdly so, when there are any upcoming tests or deadlines, i'll just wake up with a terrible headache. Maybe it's cos of my mentality, or maybe it's just there cos studying itself is a freaking exasperating business.

I totally detest studying. TO THE CORE. Don't be misunderstood. I love to learn, but i dont like to study. Seriously, what's the darn purpose of memorising such facts and formulae when they are so easily obtained in daily life? Things you cant find in books, they are on the world wide web. Just a click and TADAH! Your academic question is answered. It's that simple. And seriously, why would i even wanna know things like VOLTAMMETRY? It doesnt even add any value to my life!

Ughhhhh. I just needa rant. Hopefully i'll feel better after that. And i'm really quite screwed. What the shitt.

And it really doesnt help when even my stomach is feeling queasy now.
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A Simple Quest In Life. [Oct. 12th, 2009|09:50 pm]
[Current Mood | cranky]

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I can't stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can't stand by your side, ohh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh

So any turns that i can't see,
like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me

I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy.

I should be immune, should be oblivious to it. But i'm not.
Sometimes, ignorance is bliss, really.
In the end, it doesnt really matter, does it?

Lord, put me in my place.
I think being in this world, you learn restraint, self-control and how to act aloof.
Act happy.
How many out there are really happy from the bottom of their hearts?
I need, i want and i hope.

UGHHHHHH. I totally detest quizzes and assignments. :(:(:(
 

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Gratitude. :) [Aug. 15th, 2009|01:20 am]
[Current Mood | cheerful]

I thank God for His blessing.. :)
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